100 reasons that explain why j.d.a winslow is probably the best man to ever walk the earth

100.) he is funny
99.) he is one of the coolest motherfuckers on earth (2nd only to matthew savoca)
98.) he is the only man that looks good in mom jeans
97.) his favourite colour is an incredible colour 
96.) he is more relevant than david beckham will ever be 
95.) he has amazing social skills
94.) he has amazing vocal skills
93.) he has amazing culinary skills
92.) he has amazing driving skills
91.) he has an amazing appetite for knowledge 
90.) he is just all around fucking amazing 
89.) he is witty 
88.) he is not smug
87.) he was not responsible for the ebola virus 
86.) he would give kim kardashian the ebola virus which is a very humane thing to do
85.) his teeth are clean
84.) he can fly
83.) he makes female animals blush 
82.) he was made in james dean’s image
81.) he always has change in his pocket
80.) he makes the world smile
79.) he makes male animals blush
78.) he is like a magician with his words
77.) he is nothing like flava flav
76.) he appreciates a good jazz tune
75.) he is a gentlemen 
74.) he beat up jason stathom for starring in to many jason stathamish films 
73.) he is not cross eyed 
72.) he is not related to muammar gaddafi 
71.) if he was related to muammar gaddafi he would distance himself from muammar gaddafi in quick fashion
70.) if he woke up tomorrow as muammar gaddafi he would commit suicide because everybody knows that muammar gaddafi has worn out his welcome
69.) he has a heart of gold
68.) he is sincere
67.) he made it this far in life without going to a maximum security prison
66.) he paved the way for jay z to impregnate beyonce 
65.) he makes animals who dress in drag blush 
64.) he will comfort you if you are sad
63.) he will fight your battles for you if you are unable to fight your own battles
62.) his voice doesn’t sound like david beckham’s 
61.) he can be anything he wants to be
60.) he was ghandi in his past life 
59.) it is impossible for him to be anything but the best 
58.) he has a way with words
57.) he makes the words of other people look weak in comparison 
56.) he makes animals who are postop transsexuals blush 
55.) he appreciates his friends
54.) he does not lie to his friends
53.) he is the bestest friend you could ever have 
52.) he is the bestest natural born killer that ever was
51.) he respects his elders 
50.) he does not respect shitty people who say shitty things for the hell of it
49.) his favourite colour is better than your favourite colour 
48.) he is the mike tyson of his neighborhood 
47.) he does it for the people
46.) he not only talks the talk, but walks the walk (it’s very hard to fathom this, i know)
45.) he’ll get your daughter home by 10
44.) foreigners love him
43.) aliens love him 
42.) spanish people love him 
41.) cartoon characters love him
40.) foreign aliens who speak spanish and enjoy saturday morning cartoons love him
39.) he was edgar allan poe in his past life
29.) he always makes it home in time for dinner
28.) he is a lover not a fighter 
27.) but he will fuck somebody up at the drop of a hat for disrespecting their elders 
26.) his last name is winslow just like carl winslow (childhood memories! )
25.) he has a bright future in the literary world
24.) he is not lame
23.) he understands right from wrong
22.) he rarely does anything wrong
21.) when he does something wrong you cannot help but forgive him due to his self deprecating charm 
20.) he can walk on water 
19.) his life is the shit
18.) when the notorious b.i.g rapped the lyrics ‘my life’s the shit’, he was in truth describing the life of j.d.a winslow 
17.) his level of excellence is admirable 
16.) he never gave a girl herpes 
15.) he never treated a girl as if she was tina turner and he was ike turner 
14.) if he ever decides to play the xylophone, he will be the best xylophone player to ever exist
13.) he guessed rumpelstiltskin’s name correctly (on his 1st try. WHILE HUNGOVER)
12.) he makes animals who are comfortable being 100% transgender blush
11.) he does not steal from the less fortunate 
10.) he is nice
9.) he has a personal relationship with the tooth fairy
7.) he deserves our homage for being the best
6.) he banged the tooth fairy 
5.) he was jesus in a his past life
4.) he drove charlie sheen insane so that the world could be entertained by charlie sheen’s insanity
3.) he makes for good conversation with strangers
2.) he is polite 
1.) he looks incredibly young for his age

This was sent to me by the mysterious peterbd99@gmail.com. This was sent to me this morning and it made me feel relatively happy. This is a good thing.


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