Voodoo House by J.D.A Winslow

               J.D.A Winslow is a mysterious Scotsman. I don’t know where he’ll be next. Most alt lit fans approve of his voice. I know if I ever need somebody to do a ‘book on tape’ J.D.A. Winslow is there, with his deep voice. People love the way he says random English words. At times his voice becomes so intoxicating that we forget he writes too.

                Voodoo House’ is a dark chapbook put out in Tumblr form. He wakes up unsure of what has gone on. I worry. It is a voodoo house he’s living in so anything could happen. Poor Emily she got ‘harmonica-ed’ to death. That’s the worst. Day nine Mr. Winslow, of ‘Family Matters’ fame, wakes up. He uses the TV and IPOD to drown out the silence. But since this is a voodoo house the silence is quite loud, nearly unbearable. 

                Some friend comes up to Mr. Winslow. Her skin is glowing. Guess people are really pale up in Scotland. Perhaps some sunlight might fix the problem. Clouded eyes only add to her extreme misfortune. He wants to turn off the lights. Guess that might help save energy, since her glow helps him see in the dark. Without the light he appears to look like a cowboy. Not sure how voodoo is related to cowboys, at least not in Scotland. She becomes water lifting him up. 

                He gets used to this weirdness. A tall woman with a white dress stares into his closet. He should probably clean his closet. Good thing he went back to sleep after seeing here. Doing nothing is usually the best response in that sort of situation. I wonder why there were so many hummingbirds. Hummingbirds are pretty alt though so it’s probably okay. 

                Lots of spirits haunt the artist. Perhaps he should get a real, non-artist kind of job. Artists usually get visited by spirits. Spirits generally find office workers to be quite boring. Offices are really haunted. Though I remember working in a haunted office once. Paperclips, instant coffee, and pens would disappear without warning. Occasionally computer screens would flicker on and off. Chairs moved without people in them. Those spirits were pretty lame though. 

                Voodoo house I hope charged him little to live there. Haunted houses have lower rents due to the paranormal activity. I can’t imagine what kind of spirits even live in Scotland. There are probably some seriously twisted spirits there, boozing it up pretty hard. I know there’s a Goth culture up there. I wonder whether or not they are responsible for voodoo house. Or perhaps we’ll never know.

Beach SLoth is my favourite Sloth. He has reviewed my e-book. I love Beach Sloth.


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