After I have read the story I wander round the room and don’t know what to say. I have already said over a thousand words in a row. Sometimes when I approach a group of people one of them will say something positive and either clasp my arm briefly or touch the upper section of my arm. I am…
EDITED BY MAGGIE LEE AND ANDREW WORTHINGTON
Oh no not a non-linear arty stand-up thing with a quiz, 20/3/13 at Waverly Bar. Organised by Sian and Geri.
Shit by JDA Winslow
JDA Winslow is a winsome fellow. Ready for a night on the town on a Wednesday in a pro-active mood JDA Winslow hits the streets. Out of the streets JDA Winslow becomes quite generous whilst intoxicated. Such generosity is not misplaced. Those around him deserve it; they are his closest friends possibly. Wisdom is a huge part of JDA’s appeal. Most of JDA’s appeal comes from his elegant enunciation. Nobody has a voice like JDA. Honestly JDA should do monologues as often as possible. Anybody who meets JDA ought to buy him a drink and just let talk.
The text message does JDA a grave disservice. Reading their incoherence isn’t the problem. Spelling errors are normal for drunken text messages. Intoxicated by their popularity text messages stumble around in the drunk with their drunken users. Of course this is around the time the ‘spell check’ feature is turned off. Disconnection happens with the help of glowing screens. Each screen contains a separate text. Alone or with friends JDA drops out for a little bit to type the texts to countless numbers of people.
Next morning is rough. Lacking sleep JDA is a grouchy fellow. Too much caffeine messed up his sleep schedule. Here JDA really lays into himself. Poor JDA doesn’t deserve the verbal abuse he hurls at himself. JDA believes that others can use him. What JDA doesn’t realize is people won’t use him for JDA is not a tool. JDA is his own man. Getting feedback from others helps JDA better formulate a plan. Asking others how they feel is part of JDA’s master plan. If he can get others to talk he can avoid speaking about himself. Which given all the verbal abuse he’s given himself is probably a wise choice.
People from across the street adore young JDA. They watch him fondle his scrotum. Honestly JDA should hit on those attractive young ones. Meeting neighbors can mean making friends. Within a building though things are different. Sharing an elevator or stairwell with a certain someone feels a bit strange. Often the choice of waiting for the next elevator makes much more sense than sharing it with a nervous stranger. JDA has an opportunity though. They are across the street. If it goes bad he can simply buy some curtains, problem solved.
By the end JDA overcomes his fear. He sends out text messages. Sext messages come next. Sext messages are all about coming. For the special someone JDA even invites them into his tiny car, despite the fact they never saved his number. Well it is not a worry at all. The special someone can listen to JDA’s voice in real life. That’s all anybody could ever want.